Rudeboiz
Running Time | 120 mins

I never thought I’d call a porn film ground breaking, you know what I mean, cock, arse, fuck suck rim. You know what to expect, you like it, but it ain’t exactly new.

Rudeboiz is genuinely different, no music (except a little in the orgy scene), performers acknowledge the camera, and it’s filmed in a documentary style that almost makes you feel that you’ve turned over to BBC 2 by accident. I say almost, as to my knowledge the beeb’s autumn schedule doesn’t have any hardcore gay sex in it (that Mark Thompson is such a prude).

It’s the polar opposite of some American porn where an over-preened porn ‘professional’ fucks some guy on an over-lit set and just creates very fake, very sterile sex.

Rudeboiz is a bit rough, very real and completely horny.

First scene features cover-chavs, Dave and Kyle. Dave is hot, dark hair, small build, great body, and cute in a very boyish way, with trackies and cap and Kyle is blond, very sporty looking and has an amazing smooth, toned body, not to mention big dick.

The camera gets right in there, you see every hair on Dave’s arse when he gets rimmed, and Kyle rims with real enthusiam, harder than a Karcher pressure washer.

And there’s no fake moaning, the boys aren’t that noisy, but who actually has sex going “urgh, urgh, fuck that ass, fuck that ass” - it’s not real and it’s not sexy. And you tell from these boys faces they’re really enjoying what they’re doing.

I’ll gloss over the spunk covered three way and move on to Dalston, all the scenes are filmed in council flats, and I’m told a couple of the flats were the boys actual homes.

Andy Dean now, very cute, very young looking, you feel a bit like you could be arrested for just looking at him. He’s in the scene with Alex, an older teen, little hair on his chest, attractive, big, uncut knob, and a bit studenty looking, but chav student, so probably a student at Manchester Metropolitan.

It is so scally boy, from the sportswear to the dirty brown council flat sofa they’re fucking on. The cover of this movie should be burberry check.

The next scene is going to go down in porn legend, frankly two of the biggest cocks I’ve seen in a scene, Big-dick skinhead Bruno fucks massive Ben Taylor. And this is a noisy little scene, grunting, groaning, slurping. It’s a dirty, hard fuck.

The finale, in Kings Cross, is a seven-chav orgy, a complete mess of limbs, dicks, trackies and fred perry. The boys must have cum collectively half a pint.

You also get a great extra with interviews with the boys, a couple when they’ve just cum, avin a fag, and telling the camera wot it were like.

I genuinely loved this film, I think it’s best thing I’ve seen this year. It works if you like chav lads, and it works if you’re just tired of over-directed, over-produced American porn.